


say your goodbyes

by odetodun



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Mentions of Suicide, i wrote this in a depressive episode, im projecting im sorry, the reddie is just mentioned, tw suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 13:27:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13032096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetodun/pseuds/odetodun
Summary: richie doesn’t know how to say goodbye. he doesn’t.





	say your goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> please don’t continue if suicide is triggering for you. it’s brief but it’s there.

Richie watched his friends in the sparkling quarry water, a melancholy he’d been feeling too much lately slipping over him. Bill, Big Billy. Their well deserved leader and a boy Richie had always looked up to, cared for deeply. Ben, who joined late but still held a distinct place in his heart. Ben, who knew when someone was sad and was the best at cheering people up. Mike, later than Ben but no less important. Mike oozed love and care, he enveloped their group in a protective huddle. Bev, Richie’s number one girl. Bev, who kissed Richie’s forehead after he cried to her about his parents for the first and hundredth time. Stan, whose wit and sarcasm had always rivalled his own crude humour. Stanley who’d been there from the start for Richie, always having his back, never ever letting Richie down. And Eddie, his lovely Eddie. Eddie shone brighter than anyone Richie knew, clever and intriguing and witty. God, Richie loved Eddie.   
Richie rode home with his friends, they were sixteen and still as carefree. He watched from the side as Bev ruffled Bill’s hair, grinning wildly at him. Mike laughed at something Stan said, Ben and Eddie deep in conversation. Richie loved his friends more than anything in this shitty world.   
     One by one, they dropped off and Richie said goodbye. Only leaving Richie and Eddie.

“You okay Rich? You’ve been quiet” Eddie bumped his arm softly against Richie’s.

“Right as rain my little Eds, just appreciative” Richie slung his arm over Eddie’s shoulder, relishing in the feel of him. They arrived at Eddie’s house, Eddie giving Richie a quick look before turning away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow yeah Rich? We can go to the arcade and I’ll even buy you an ice cream like when we were kids” Eddie said wistfully, Richie smiled at his best friend.

“I’d love that. Goodbye Eds” Richie waved him off, not leaving until Eddie stepped over the threshold. Richie walked slowly home, taking in the sights around him. Derry was a fucking hole, but he’d spent sixteen years of his life here. The rows and rows of houses, the rich but dark history. His own house loomed in the distance, he knew it would be empty today. That’s why he chose today.   
     Richie sat on his bathroom floor, hands shaking wildly. The pills sat in front of him, stark in their orange tube. A letter, addressed to the six most important people, to the left of his shaking body. Knowing it had to be done, he needed it all to stop, he emptied the small white pills into his hand and unscrewed the horrible smelling spirit from his mothers stash.   
      Richie wasn’t sad, in that moment he felt a peace he hadn’t in a while. Richie didn’t need to be there, didn’t deserve to be there. His own parents had told him that. The losers, whilst he knew they’d be sad, would have each other. That’s all Richie needed to think about. He swallowed the handful of pills, throat seizing up. Then, he closed his eyes for hopefully the last time, and waited.

 

Bright lights stirred Richie, a faint beeping flowing into his right ear. He tried to open his eyes but they felt heavy. Where was he?

“Rich, hey Richie” was that Stan? Richie forced his eyes open, light attacking his pupils and making him wince. He took in his surroundings, he was in hospital.

“It didn’t work” was all Richie croaked out, turning to see his best friend staring at him with terrified eyes.

“No, Eddie found you in time” Stan answered Richie’s unspoken question.

“Stan, oh no Stan” Richie was crying before he could stop it. Stan, who was usually adverse to hugging, held tightly onto his best friend.

“Rich, it’s okay. I’ve got you, we’ve all got you” Stan held him as he cried, he wasn’t sure why he was crying. Disappointment? Maybe relief? Richie didn’t know.

“Eddie- you said Eddie found me” Richie asked, Stan rested his chin atop unruly curls.

“He sensed something was wrong, called me before he left for yours. He found you passed out, called an ambulance immediately” Stan informed him, Richie suddenly felt so guilty. His Eddie, having to find him like that.

“Is he here?”

“They’re all here, they let me sit with you first” Stan said, Richie nodded against his chest.   
     Stan only moved once Richie had fallen asleep again, holding onto him as if he were glass about to break. He looked at his best friends face, so peaceful and glowing in the stark hospital light. He should’ve known, should’ve stopped him before it happened. But he hadn’t known. Richie, who made light of every dark situation because that’s how he coped. Who’d been at Stan’s call every time he felt bad, during the pressure of his bar mitzvah. Richie was a light, a shining fucking light and Stan never wanted to see it go out. He’d do better for him, make sure Richie was okay. He needed Richie to be okay.

“How is he?” Eddie asked as soon as Stan returned to them, he looked closed to a breakdown himself. Stan couldn’t imagine what if felt like finding him, lying there cold as ice. Bev had fallen asleep across Mike and Ben. Bill played with his fingers nervously.

“He’s asleep now, whatever they’ve given him have knocked him out. He’ll be okay though, we’ll make sure of it” Stan reassured Eddie, pulling his smaller friend into a tight hug.

“Have they called his-“ Stan cut himself off, could he call them parents?

“Wentworth didn’t answer, I don’t think Maggie understood what was happening. She’ll be here, I think” Mike answered for Eddie, who didn’t look ready to talk about Richie’s useless excuse for parents.

“You go in and see him when he next wakes up, he asked for you” Stan told Eddie when he sat down next to Bill.   
       Richie woke up again a few hours later, Stan replaced by a sleeping Eddie - who stirred awake as soon as he realised Richie was too.

“Hey Rich, how are you feeling?” Eddie asked quietly.

“Groggy, they got me on the good shit Eds” Richie attempted to joke but it came out weakly.

“Rich, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner” Eddie looked like he was fighting tears, Richie reached out to touch his face carefully.

“Don’t apologise, thank you for finding me. Maybe it wasn’t my time” Richie told him.

“It’s never going to be your time, a day where Richie Tozier doesn’t grace this earth is a day I don’t want to be here” Eddie smiled slightly, Richie reciprocating his expression.

“Are they all out there? Is my mu-“ he stopped himself, Eddie swallowed heavily.

“I don’t know when she’s going to be here. The losers are outside, I’m sure we could sneak them in” Eddie said before standing up and ushering the losers into Richie’s room. He was engulfed in love, hugs and kisses. His friends looked shaky around him, like he was breakable.

“I’m okay, at least I will be. I promise” Richie tried to assure them. He wanted to be okay for them. Like he’d said, it wasn’t his time now. He had something to live for, the six people stood around in hospital bed.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry about this, im projecting heavily.


End file.
